Although I write this both in pain & grieved to have caused it, I really believe there is a powerful purpose to pain worth embracing.
1. Deeper Spirituality.
Seldom do we look within or upwards like we do when there is grief and sorrow.
I have found the closest times I've had with God (those deeply special occasions) can often stem from the greatest moments of pain and despair. I've found though that it takes being humble & ready to accept responsibility for any pain I cause others. Pain & repentance work well together because fear is less of a factor when our worst fears are already realized. Many of us have felt despair that makes us want to erase our existence, but I can testify it can become elation, and joy, and peace. By pulling the pain closer I can see the power it has to set me free from fear- from all the worst things I need to change in myself that I wasn't facing. That liberation has found me thanking God, and landmarked arguably the most special, pivotal times of my life.
2. Increased Sensitivity.
Nothing makes a compassionate person like someone who genuinely understands pain.
I have found that I empathize with people about physical & emotional pain on a whole new level because of my own struggles (with mercury poisoning) and it's led to my emerging career as a Health Coach. As far as pain that I've caused, relating my own pain to what I have put others through deepens my sensitivity towards people if I don't ignore the pain, and let it shape my life. I also gain so much more depth & joy in my relationship with God by realizing how sensitive & patient He's been towards me- having given me the world while I've given Him so much grief- yet He responds in His Essence: infinite Love, which He wants to experience with us.
3. Stronger Heart.
Our heart can take a greater capacity of hurt after it's been hurt & overcome it.
I think we'll always be vulnerable as long as we truly love, however like muscles which literally break down during intense exercise & rebuild during recovery to be stronger, our unseen heart will rebuild itself stronger after exposure to pain, if we nurture it with truth & love, instead of coping mechanisms. Having a tougher heart shouldn't be a replacement for using our mind to guard it though, as otherwise we'll find ourself "toughing out" bad choices but never get down to the root causes of them and add to the heaviness of our heart over time.
4. Next Level Love.
The greatest display of love is being hurt by someone, and still choosing to (wisely) love them.
This diagram shows how we should guard against letting someone hurt us if they haven't changed. However, while the form of love we have for someone who's offended us & doesn't care may be different, if we truly forgive we can go on loving them (in a rational way) and that's when love proves to be epic: in loving on past the hurt. I'm seeing the blessing in this is still in the person doing the loving. Martyr's & missionaries have long won my awe because of selfless love for the people that break their bodies & hearts. (Remember that source of infinite love we were talking about?)
5. Deepened Relationships.
The people who support you in the hardest times will have a bond that won't be forgotten.
Seldom if ever is the strength of a relationship appreciated like when our heart is broken and we can turn to a friend or family member who truly feels the pain with us; who loves us when we have been sold short of love. Being related to during heartbreak is a gift of gold for the heart that feels poor, and it's value is truly priceless. (We should be wise to guard it though, knowing we are more vulnerable to being influenced by people who may not have our best interest in their own heart.)
